Finally the moment we have been waiting for! Our first in the #EmbracingFatherhood series has reached our desk and we are so glad to share with you.
After several months of reaching out to a couple of fathers to tell their story of how their journey into ‘Fatherhood’ began for them, Journalist and Writer, Samuel Ayara kicks it off with ‘Fatherhood and Me’.
Massive and unexplainable could better describe the joy that greeted the announcement of my wife’s pregnancy. That joy nonetheless, was short-lived as it soon gave way to the anxiety of when my arms will bear the bundle of joy that was on the way to making a debut that will admit me into the fatherhood hall of fame.
Those months I waited were the longest in my life. Not even the childhood Christmas seasons that saw us anxiously waiting to wear our festival outfits were that long. The conventional nine months were as if I had to wait for five years, so bad that every child’s birth proclamation got me wishing it were mine.
My wife braved the near-convention about voracious appetites and senseless cravings, she attempted dieting to check the weight of the child to avoid birth complications that comes with overweight pregnancies. In all these, she kept a deliberately positive attitude that gave us very little to deal with the mood swings.
It was also a period I yielded more support, helping with the house chores and sometimes doing the meals. They really were moments I conceded more in presence and time to help her sleep in the recommended position, while consciously ensuring her feet was always rested over a sofa, to beat the swollen leg spell.
However, the snail days crawled past and my wife and I were at the hospital to be delivered of our baby. Still apprehensive; flashes of a possible mishap crept through my mind, and got me thinking of who between mother and child really deserved my prayers. Before long, the medics handed me what apart from wife could pass for my life’s greatest gift – TimfonAbasi.
Certain, mother and child were doing fine, then came the defining moment of my life; another me had been reproduced in a girl child, and at that instance, peace profound engulfed all my thoughts and imaginations, leaving me calm but without a choice on who comes first in my life between mother and child, going forward.
For all who hold the opinion that my wife and I had become one at our solemnization, as such, she should ordinarily be most preferred, I have never thought in departure from that, but my daughter is not just the fruit of the coming together, but an inextricable part of me. This has gotten me loving more than I ever bargained; I now love mother and daughter with no disparity.
Fatherhood has thought me more than love, I have learnt tolerance, perseverance, attention to details, giving without looking back at what is left, sharing everything and most especially gratitude. I have also grown into knowing the world does not revolve around me and my values all I now look out for is their interest, regardless if my standards are compromised.
There are nights I come out of bed not for anything in particular, but to behold them asleep, disarmingly resting away life’s sorrows. This gets me thanking all of the Heavenlies for such priceless gift of love that has seen me diminish into them. Those moments have till date been the most amazing part of my nights.
My wife, Ekaette, I will always have, but my daughter, TimfonAbasi will someday move to her room, from there to school and afterwards, life will happen.
I will eternally bear the memories of her lovingness but the warmth of my wife’s overbearing affection is a tabernacle I will never exit from, and if tomorrow never comes, they will be sure proud they both shared the love of a dedicated husband and father.
They are all I have and worth more than all ever want…my women!