Shortly after one of Uyo’s popular socialite, Bobby Bassey went on his knees to propose to his fiancée, an act which got the Uyo Facebook community in a big surprise, award winning gospel music icon and lead pastor at The Citadel, Ab Isong penned down 25 heart-touching advices Bobby who he holds dear and considers to him as a son.
Below is what he wrote exclusive to Hypestation:
Bobby had been my son for over 10 if not 15 years now. He first met me when I went preaching in their school (Science School Ndon Eyo, Onna).
When he graduated, he became my ardent follower and has been consistent till date. A son I am proud of. There was a certain period we lost touch, but on getting to meet my wife, here was bobby again serving in that church and submitting to my wife as his mum, re-ignited the fire and he became our first son.
Mummy has been whispering to me about a certain Glory Elijah but as a father, I had to do gragra because I’ll not love to see my son play games with an innocent heart.
But now that you have followed my footsteps, I’m proud of you son. Marrying early is so sweet son, And marrying your friend is the best thing that can ever happen to a man.
Thanks for honouring mum by choosing to engage her on her day. On this note, I’ll love to give you both sincere advice from my heart.
When your mum, Emem Isong and I got married Seven years ago, we were young and in love, but we were also pretty clueless (me especially)! Along the way, we’ve had so many people share wise advice and life experiences with us which has helped guide our family through good times and hard times. Through the years, I’ve been collecting some of the best marriage advice others have shared with us (and some I had to learn through my own mistakes).
If you’ll apply these twenty-five principles below to your relationship, it could make a life-changing difference in your marriage!
- Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.
- Always answer the phone when your spouse is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse. (She is worth your undivided attention).
- Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your relationship/marriage.
- Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.
- Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.
- In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.
- Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.
- Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!
- Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!
- Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.
- Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!
- Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.
- Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.
- Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.
- When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
- When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”
- Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important than your schedule.
- Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.
- Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.
- Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.
- Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!
- Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.
- Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.
- When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!
- Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!
Those principles have and is keeping us.
I pray that very soon you’ll step up and upgrade this engagement to a full-blown marriage.
Count on us as you make the next big move.
God bless you both.
My name is Ab.Isong